Select the first character of the Campfire Skit's title:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P R S T U V W Y

Submarine Captain, The

A line of submarine officers on a sub.
Captain sights a ship in the periscope

CAPTAIN; 'Tanker bearing 259, Range 1 mile' He yells this to the first mate, who in turn tells second mate, down the line until finally the torpedo operator is told. The torpedo operator just shrugs his shoulders.

CAPTAIN: 'Load main tube # 1 and stand by to fire.' He yells this to the first mate, who in turn tells second mate, down the line until finally the torpedo operator is told.

TORPEDO OPERATOR: 'I don't know How.'

Next the captain gives the order to fire down the line, but the TORPEDO OPERATOR. Says "I don't know How…"

This message is returned up the line to the Captain who SCREAMS.

CAPTAIN : "Press the red button."

When this message finally gets down to the TORPEDO OPERATOR. He follows it, but it took too long so they miss the ship. (More message passing if you want.) Finally after about three ships (each time the TORPEDO OPERATOR doesn't remember how to fire.) The Captain feels disgraced and pulls out a knife and commits Sepuku (or incorrectly, Hari Keri) or picks up a gun and shoots himself. Each officer in turn picks up the knife (gun) and follows the Captains example until at last the knife comes to the Torpedo Officer Who looks at the knife and says;

TORPEDO OPPERATOR: 'I don't Know How..."